Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

Author:Christopher Moore [Moore, Christopher]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Fantasy, Humor
ISBN: 9780380813810
Google: bNO3yU4E1FsC
Amazon: 0380813815
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2002-01-01T11:00:00+00:00

“I have to train on the poles in the morning,” I said.

“You are excused,” Gaspar said. “And if Joshua talks to you anymore tonight, try to persuade him to share our existence.” Then he hurried off in a very unenlightened way.

That night I was falling asleep when I heard a squeak in the hall outside of my cell, then an incredibly foul odor jolted me awake.

“Joshua?” I crawled out of my cell into the hall. There were narrow slots high in the walls through which moonlight could sift, but I saw nothing but faint blue light on the stone. “Joshua, is that you?”

“How could you tell?” Joshua’s disembodied voice said.

“Well, honestly, you stink, Josh.”

“The last time we went to the village for alms, a woman gave Number Fourteen and me a thousand-year-old egg. It didn’t sit well.”

“Can’t imagine why. I don’t think you’re supposed to eat an egg after, oh, two hundred years or so.”

“They bury them, leave them there, then dig them up.”

“Is that why I can’t see you?”

“No, that’s because of my meditation. I’ve let go of everything. I’ve achieved perfect freedom.”

“You’ve been free ever since we left Galilee.”

“It’s not the same. That’s what I came to tell you, that I can’t free our people from the rule of Romans.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not true freedom. Any freedom that can be given can be taken away. Moses didn’t need to ask Pharaoh to release our people, our people didn’t need to be released from the Babylonians, and they don’t need to be released from the Romans. I can’t give them freedom. Freedom is in their hearts, they merely have to find it.”

“So you’re saying you’re not the Messiah?”

“How can I be? How can a humble being presume to grant something that is not his to give?”

“If not you, who, Josh? Angels and miracles, your ability to heal and comfort? Who else is chosen if not you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I wanted to say good-bye. I’ll be with you, as part of all things, but you won’t perceive me until you become enlightened. You can’t imagine how this feels, Biff. You are everything, you love everything, you need nothing.”

“Okay. You won’t be needing your shoes then, right?”

“Possessions stand between you and freedom.”

“Sounded like a yes to me. Do me one favor though, okay?”

“Of course.”

“Listen to what Gaspar has to say to you tomorrow.” And give me time to think up an intelligent answer to someone who’s invisible and crazy, I thought to myself. Joshua was innocent, but he wasn’t stupid. I had to come up with something to save the Messiah so he could save the rest of us.

“I’m going to the temple to sit. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Not if I see you first.”

“Funny,” said Josh.

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